Oops, forgot the Christmas tree

So this one went up in 5 minutes. Call me Cheating Granny. But it does the job.

Old people know too much

Recently I had some rest and recreation with my five sisters on Kapiti Island. As you see from the photo, it was relaxing. And we hardly stopped laughing for 48 hours.

A recurring problem recurred. People who have lived six or seven decades know pretty much everything. So how can we refrain from giving advice willy nilly?

Over two days I was advised (among other things) to buy a chihuahua, lose all interest in my appearance, get a bum-bra for my saggy bottom, and review the prescription for topical chemotherapy I'm using on my nose. Some of these tips were useful, others not so much.

It's only a problem because I am inclined to presume I know best. (The only people who really annoy me are people just like me.) So I took special notice of those who managed to give me advice that I enjoyed. I resolve sincerely try harder to be like them -- wish me luck! Kind. Light-hearted. Curious.

Whether you're 70, 7 or 17, it's nice to be treated with respect... but not too much respect...

An extremely old woman

Our grandmother, known as Mim, used to look after Penny (aged 3 or 4) while Mother was teaching.

One day she popped Penny on top of the sideboard to remove her from some mischief. Penny was furious, and hurled her deadliest insult in revenge:

"You're an extremely old woman and you look like one!"

Unfortunately for the effect, Mim thought this was so funny that it became a standing joke. She began to sign family letters as ye anciente Mim, and refer to herself as this extremely old woman.

How old was that extremely old woman at the time, I wonder? In her 50s?

R.I.P. Gloria, 10 months old

Friends die at different ages: that's obvious. We prefer it if they die after a fine and satisfying life. We prefer their lives to be long, and end well.

I'm just going to the vet right now to say goodbye to Gloria. Her life has been easy, as my supervisor and trainer, with her own en suite bathroom and sufficient food and water. It has been useful, as she has provided me with instructions, guidance, and somebody warm to stroke. But it has not been long.

Another friend, Jamie, calls cats "angels in fur coats".

Goodbye, Gloria, and thank you.


Feline Infectious Peritonitis, according to Wikipedia

Hollywood stars panic at age 42

I read in our paper that Hollywood stars start to panic about being unemployable because of old age at about... 42.

But 42 is the meaning of life! Get over it.

Old lady loves working

Why would I stop working, when I love it, I'm good at it, and it's useful?

Some people just don't get it. They assume that every old lady would rather stop working, or work less. Why? Maybe they think I don't enjoy work. Or that work makes me tired. Or that work stops me from doing more fun things.

But there's nothing I'd rather do with the bulk of my week than work.

I'm not a workaholic or a perfectionist. My work is balanced by plenty of people time, granny time, me time. I dance, walk, socialise, read books, write books (for fun), watch TV and go to movies. I travel and have holidays.

No doubt the world is full of other exciting things I could be doing. So let other people do them.

Old lady loves new frocks

What do old ladies want? New frocks!

Among the saddest words old ladies say are these: "It'll see me out."

As your world shrinks, no need to go boring! An 88-year-old may need to forgo those 4-inch scarlet heels, but she can still wear a stylish frock. It's a joy to see a really old lady looking great.

As an incipient old lady I was thrilled to buy these two dresses last week. I mean frocks: that's a much nicer word! It's even more exciting because from 15-35 I made my own frocks, and for many years I bought most of my clothes second-hand.

Like many women, I have a secret fabric fetish. We FF-Femmes have a stash of fabric in the wardrobe. See it, love it, buy it, pretend we're going to make it into a frock one day. Yeah, right. My stash includes two lengths from Samoa: a wild orange and yellow polished cotton and red cotton with giant white leaves; plus green silk with multi-coloured splashes.

So, three weddings coming up soon! I felt that justified something new and frivolous, so I went to town intending to buy a pattern. But I diverted to Alexandra Owen's shop, where I bought a super high fashion origami dress in stark French navy cotton. Divine: it revealed my (well) hidden shape. It's an heirloom piece and an incentive to stay alive and sociable: my daughters will have to wait a few decades.

From this splendid accident I learned nothing. I went to town two days later on the same mission: find a dress pattern. This time I dropped into Frutti in Cuba Street and succumbed to an irresistible piece of flowery silk froth, light as a butterfly and crazy with it. The designer, Maiangi Waiti, was inspired by the dresses that old ladies wear. Perfect.

alexandraowen.co.nz
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