On 4 April 2013, my friend Diana Neutze died, after defying multiple sclerosis for well over 40 years.
|Diana Neutze (center) with friends on her 70th birthday, 9 March 2009|
She had survived for decades by micro-managing every minute of her life, training and instructing a team of dedicated, hand-picked angels (known as carers).
Inevitably Diana also planned every detail of her death, funeral and burial. The funeral was just right and left me feeling downright happy.
I was one of those she asked to give a short talk. Others gave a full picture of her life and personality—both of which were vivid and triumphant. I decided to talk about just two things, her poetry and her blog. These reflected my role in her life, which was highly specific: I published her last two poetry books (Furthermore and Reflect); set up a web site for her when requested; set up a blog for her, against her will; and communicated with 53 of her friends and relatives each time her carers posted another blog entry—which, as it turned out, was quite often!
To me these were light burdens because my daily work is all about online communication, accessible web content and the social web. My purpose was to keep the creative part of Diana alive and active and goal-orientated.
We are lucky if we find a way to be useful that returns more than we invest. My reward came from the "Blog Alert" group—they were hugely appreciative of this simple way of keeping in touch with Diana, and I felt plenty of love coming my way.
The text of my talk follows. I was trying to convey in very few words how writing and social media combined to enrich Diana's life, both inwardly and socially. And I wanted to share snippets from some of her 53 blog-alert supporters.
Farewell to Diana
She did warn us:
… as I have lived, so I will die: fiercely and with full intent.
I want to talk about two features of Diana’s life: her poetry (an individual activity) and her blog (a group activity).
Writing is not just recording a feeling or thought or other experience. Writing is a dynamic process that sculpts and illuminates and transforms experience. As Diana wrote:
my poetry is a good listener,
and even a teacher,
skewing my words sideways
to create a different pattern,
a wake-up call.
Writing a poem can make sense of the incomprehensible, and it can help to make the intolerable tolerable. It is a spiritual exercise. Diana wrote:
there is no escape. All journeying must be inward.
But writing became more and more difficult, until everything had to be “written” in her mind and then transcribed by her carers.
Unlike most of you, I am one of the few people who managed to make Diana do certain things against her will—mainly remove the odd semi-colon, and above all, to start a blog. She was vehemently opposed to the blog. She despised the very word blogging. But miraculously, she obeyed me. After that, she could share her poems instantaneously with a large audience.
Diana’s blog gave us all an extraordinary opportunity. She looked death in the face and invited us to look over her shoulder. This was terrifying, but it was also a privilege.
Strangers also read her blog. For example, she has never met any of the Otaki Ukulele Group. But last Thursday, when they heard about her death, they played two songs in her honour.
The end of poetry coincided with the end of life.
The particularity of pain
takes over the mind
right to the very edges,
an amorphous sludge
which leaves no space for poetry.
Some of the Blog Alert community wrote valedictions in advance, and I'd like to read some of their words.
Vivienne Stone: All the way through her life’s journey, Diana has actively chosen how she wants to live.
Miriam Frances: Meditation has enriched Diana’s life, and poetry has illuminated it.
Abie Horrocks: She has such an amazing capacity to listen and be cheeky and wise and honest and realistic and prophetic and a little scandalous—sometimes all at once!
Diony Young: Her words and poems always open doors to new places.
Jacquie Pryor: In her poetry, she doesn't avoid the difficult issues, especially the one that is hardest of all: death.
Maureen Eppstein: The clarity of her vision shines through her poems like the light through her walnut tree.
And finally John Chambers speaks for us all about Diana's legacy.
John Chambers: Every time I'm at a difficult juncture, I spontaneously think of her, I hear her words in my heart, I feel the courage and the caring and the power—and I will always think of her, and I will always hear her words.
9 April 2013
These web sites and Diana's publications will be managed by her literary executor, Gabrielle Faith, in future: